19 Of The Best Quotes That Perfectly Explain What Depression Feels Like

Thought Catalog

Ryan McGilchristRyan McGilchrist

1. “I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.” – Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind Of A Funny Story


2. “The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be…

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DDAY, COMING SOON.

This Saturday will be the biggest day of my life so far. I will /try to/ defend my thesis from three jurors, ready to pop my campaign’s cherry.

All my friends are done. They are already getting back all the sleep and weight they lost and  using the hashtag #GradWaiting every chance they get. While I’m still here, dreading the weekend, wishing for all of it to be over.

I am not diagnosed with anything, but I’m pretty sure I have some kind of anxiety disorder. I can never talk in front of a crowd without wishing for death right before I speak. And even after I survived the talk, I’d spent  following hours feeding my brain with every negative result I could get.  If I text my boyfriend and he doesn’t reply within 10 minutes, I get really uncomfortable. Waiting is never my game, I get too paranoid. I spend hours wondering what others think of me. I care too much of what they think. I can’t sleep even though I’m dead tired. And when I do, I’d wake up too early, having only like 3-4 hours of sleep. These are just some of the bullshit I can’t stop doing. The list could go on until the word limit is reached.

I am not like any other people in my school. I dont know what this is, depression or anxiety, or both. All I know is that, I feel more. And its really hard for me to express these extra emotions to others because they can’t understand. So with this deliberation, I say to people that I’m nervous. And they’d think its just the normal-sweaty-palm-nail-biting-type of nervous. But its really the Oh-God-kill-me-now-death-is-better-than-this-type. And I may say it funny, but its true.

I’m taking all the help I could get. But in the end, its all up to me. I’m not sure if I could defend it properly. But I really did give my best on my artworks.  I just hope I pass. Please pray for me 😦

“I wish you saw how she looked at you, like you were everything she will ever need. If you did, then I wouldn’t have to spend everyday wishing she was looking at me instead.  If you only treat her right, I wont daydream about giving her more than she deserves. I would give up the world if she could just see me like she sees you. You will never know how lucky you were, and how I’m dying to be her everything. If you new that, you wouldn’t have taken her for granted.  If she was happy, I wouldn’t have gotten in your way.”

Mixed Signals and Second Thoughts

He speaks in riddles, like wise people do.
He knows just what to say,
knows just what to do.
Scheming and plotting.
Always deceiving.
Manipulating, confusing,
Ever contradicting.

She has seen the world
In black and blue
She thinks she’s wise
With all that she’s been through.
Never not thinking
Over analyzing
Because of all the pain
she’s been avoiding.

She’s been praying for someone
And she hopes that he’s it.
He’s looking for someone
He can toss any minute.

She fell too deep,
At night she cant even sleep.
He said he felt the same,
But already dreaming
before the night came.

So she did her analyzing,
and did her math,
Weighed her options
During her baths.

What an irony
That she will never know
That while she was thinking
She’s missing the show

In those dreams he’s been having
She has always been appearing.
He thought “how could I be losing
In this game I’ve been playing?”

He thought this time,
He could really love someone.
But she’s already gone,
Thinking he can’t be the one.

So the cards have been played.
The tables have turned.
But who do you think
Among these two
Has been more hurt?

Its too late for INKtober but…

WEW

Hello! It has been a while since I last blogged about something. Mainly because my thesis is still on going and I’m actually gonna start on the harder parts (wish me luck!!!) Anyway, let me make it up to you by sharing another artwork. I haven’t thought of a name for this yet, and of course, suggestions will be much appreciated. Its ink on paper, I  just added the effects on Adobe Photoshop.

If you’re interested I could do some for you! Just comment below or email me (ejsfrancisco @yahoo.com) the details.  Of course, it would take a while because of my schedule but I promise to work on them as soon as I can 🙂

The 6 Hardest Goodbyes You Have To Make At Graduation

Thought Catalog

ShutterstockShutterstock

1. The goodbye to your current life:

After your graduate, things will never be the same. Unlike high school, there’s no more transition period. College was the last safety zone. The last chance to figure out who you are, who you want to become, before you are thrust into the real world. The scary world that everyone warns you of, that never seemed real until now. You realize that all the fears of surviving, in a new city, a new lifestyle, a new job, are all too overwhelming. That cap and gown is the last piece of college you will ever touch and then…your new life begins. Wherever that may be.

2. The goodbye to your best friend:

This may be the hardest goodbye of them all. The person you met maybe during move in freshman year or during a hard class you stayed up late studying together for. They have been…

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Late Night Drama: Ya feel me?

I just want someone
I could really talk to.
I know I have my friends
And my family.
But I feel like I’m bothering them
With all my stories
And opinions.
I want someone to hear me.
Not just what they want to hear.
Someone I could really open up to.
Without the fear
Of getting judged
Or betrayed.
But,
Despite a screen filled with names
With green circles beside them.
And a hundred combinations
Of numbers and names
on my phone,
I have no one.
Today,
I laughed with my friends
And shared meals with my family.
But I wasn’t with them.